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7 things to keep in mind while dating someone in school

School is a time of utter confusion when it comes to relationships. Most often than not, love isn’t a sorted business to try out when in school and in your early teens. There are several mistakes to be made and here is a little list   about the what’s and what-nots to be done.

1.First, no boy or girl is important enough to ruin your career for.

School is the time for the first flushes of romance and we tend to go the extra way there to make our loved ones feel happy. First love can feel very overwhelming and all-consuming but keep in mind, more often than not, our first choices can make for our worst choices ( very few have  it as lucky to marry their childhood sweethearts as the movies would like us to believe). Fall in love, have your share of fun but don’t ruin the prospect of your career or your entire lives fixated over someone. There is a lot more  for you to encounter in life.

2. As kids your peers or partner might not have the same maturity as you; deal safely

You might be a very emotionally mature, caring and giving kid but  your partner or their friends may not share your sensibilities. Especially when it comes to sexual maturity. There can be a lot of wrong and unethical activities going around with regard to intimate personal information that you decide to trust and share. It doesn’t take long for your trust to be broken and the emotional trauma can be too devastating. Choose  to deal safely when it comes to private information, digital or otherwise.

3. Never let anyone force you into doing something you don’t want to

This point can never be stressed on more. Respect your own space and sense of comfort and convenience. Don’t let you or partner tell you what should be done or what would look ‘cool’ even if you aren’t comfortable with it. Right from an early age, as children you must know that a partner who cannot respect your needs and desires is not the right one for you.

4. Consent

The most important part about dating. At all  ages.and specially when you are young- you and your partner will want to explore your sexualities together and try out new things. Its okay. It’s normal and natural and NOT wrong. However what is wrong and absolutely unforgivable is your partner not understanding YOUR CONSENT. All sort of sexual activities must be consensual. It is a must.

 Age of consent

Unless you are 18, penetrative sex can put you behind bars.  Stay informed about what is legally permitted and what is not. You surely don’t want to risk your career or life at school for an uninformed decision or for coming under pressure. Stay absolutely inflexible about your decision to abide by the legal rulebook.

5. Be very selective and careful about your choice of partner

Remember when you are in school, and  especially young girls, you are at a very vulnerable time when there shall be a lot of wrong kind of attention bestowed on you. Although as women, you will  perhaps have  to face it your whole life, but while in school, it is best to date someone you know and most importantly, your age. Older men might often  promise you with possibilities that  definitely sound very ‘cool’ or exciting, but most of the times it is too unsafe to put your trust in people you meet outside the domain of school or ones who are  physically far more advanced in years than you. Choose wise and choose safe.

6. Always keep your parents informed about where you are going after school.

Most parents are strict and don’t understand the concept of dating. It’s difficult to share your experiences or ask for advise. But it is just a bad idea to go to any unknown place without informing your parents back at home. If it isn’t possible to do so or you will be grounded, go to a trusted friend’s house for hanging out or meeting your partner. But never venture out with them to locations of their choice that they further keep undisclosed from you. It can be very very unsafe.

7. Respect your teachers’ sensibilities

Your relationship may be a haloed sphere for you and it’s totally okay to treat it so, but outside of class. Well there are always rulebooks as long as you are dealing with authorities and sensibilities and notions of decorum that are  highly varied and subjective. Respect the fact that your teachers and other staff might not be comfortable with any public displays of affection between you and your partner. Your sensibilities might be different but it does no harm to respect the comfort spaces of the ones doing so much for you? It doesn’t create healthy child-teacher relationships if your teachers admonish you for your private lives. It is embarrassing for you. Just as it is for your teachers to encounter you dragging your  private life to the realm of the public. And after all, your school is the realm of the professional for you. So keep the two realms separate.

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