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Long Distance Relationships: Is it for You?

Let’s face it right away, long distance relationships are pretty difficult. Especially when you are young. The joys of newly falling in love depend on the excitement of secret meetups or the first flushes of exchanging compliments, holding hands or giggling over inside jokes over bars of ice cream. It is difficult when the person you love is physically distant from you and thus is all the warmth, affection and love in its physical displays. However, the modern world we live in makes the pangs of separation little more bearable than it used to be in the past. You are just one video call away from your loved ones in your most miserable moments. However, the world we live in also calls for tough timetables and busy schedules when perhaps your partner is busy making presentations for their next day at work or college at the time you are pining to just have one glance of them or do with a word of assurance. Our needs and demands aren’t always in sync with our partners’ time and conveniences. One of the biggest problems of long distance relationship is the difficulty to bridge this gap between individual priorities and the wants of a relationship. Because, after all a relationship can be as demanding as a newborn child and needs as much care and attention as the latter calls for in order to have a healthy growth.

We live in an age of social media where often the lines between people and commodities are blurred making us as much spoilt for choice when it comes to people as much as it does for material luxuries and merchandise. Feeling insecure about our romantic relationships and spaces to slip from the very precariously drawn lines of what makes for loyalty or commitment. More often than not, we aren’t mature enough for clear communications or discussions on the negative feeling we might encounter while in love with someone else. We feel ashamed of emotions like jealousy, inadequacy, repulsion, anger, feeling unimportant or valueless to our partners. And that which could have been sorted through mutual understanding and conversation gets risked through petty fights resulting from repressed thoughts and feelings. Relationships aren’t and neither are supposed to be as rosy and films and songs make them seem. Two people trying to make it together shall encounter difference in opinions, preferences, lifestyles, habits and what not. There are supposed to be fights and quarrels but what is most important is the will to mitigate the negativity and weigh the brighter side. When this balance starts faltering then perhaps one relationship is about to meet with imminent doom. And let’s be clear about one thing, emotions cant be forced. If you lose your trust in your partner and instead of feeling happy or connected your relationship becomes the source of anxiety and sorrow, it’s best to not let things get murkier and let go for the best.

It takes a lot of maturity to sustain a relationship based simply on hope for the future when you are missing out on a lot of joys of the present. Your friends seem to be having the times of their lives while you have only your video calls, text messages and emails to suffice for your needs. So make sure that you have a rock solid foundation to your relationship before you consent to plying it over a considerable physical distance that doesn’t allow you the luxury of quick satiation through easy meetings. If you have consented to one and believe that your connection is strong enough to deal with such hardships and you believe physical distance doesn’t matter much, then make sure you keep the will to sustain you through your period of separation as close to you as your love for the dear one.

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